I think I’ve been here long enough…

…to finally post this list for your edification:

Things to never say in public in Fairbanks:

1)      “I’m thinking about getting another dog.” (Thus prompting the always prevalent “Want one of mine?”)

2)      “My fishing hole rocks! It’s that little spot on the (name of river) at the bend near (name of area of river) – you know that one?”

3)      “This is NOT what I expected of Fairbanks when I signed up for the side tour on the cruise – what a dump!”

4)     “I never understood why people would want to join the Army.” (or Airforce) OR – “I didn’t ask to be assigned here!”

5)      “I can’t stand hockey!” (Note, this is way different than, “I don’t understand hockey.”) Fairbanksans are very friendly, and would looove to teach a newcomer about the game. They won’t look at you like you’re an alien; they like to teach!

6)      “I can’t stand fishing.” (same rule.)

7)     “I can’t stand to be cold.” (ditto)

8)      “That’s not how it is in…” (fill in the name of a lower 48 state).

9)      “They’re probably just trying to mess with us – how bad can that road *be*?”  (Cut your losses – listen to people when they tell you what to pack in the car “just in case”.)

10)  “Honey, take my picture with this moose!” (…bear, wolf).

(c. Chad Carpenter, Tundra comics, http://www.tundracomics.com) and Jamie Smith’s “nuggets”.


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